i love my boyfriend but there is a problem, can you help?
I love my boyfriend, but my family has reservations?
whenever i look online for "how to tell if he’s your soul mate" or whatever there’s always one that stands out.
make sure your SO challenges you spiritually, intellectually, etc.
this is not the case in my relationship. i love him in every way but i know that he does not challenge my brain. he makes me want to be a good person, that’s very very very true. he makes me want to be creative and just be myself.
i absolutely love hanging out with him and being around him. it’s so hard to say goodbye at the end of the night. he’s so wonderful and i adore him.
i’m very shy and he takes care of me. if i’m scared to do something (like ask someone in a store for help) he will help no problem. however, he doesn’t baby me and is encouraging me to be more confident and ask for things myself.
he’s funny and very kind. the best parts are when we are joking around and just being silly.
he puts me first before anything in his life. at work he talks about me all the time. he texts me or emails me just to say hi. i love this stuff.
HOWEVER…
i love art-house films and when i go to see them with him i know we aren’t understanding it in the same way.
i know that we don’t share the same brainwave on certain issues.
i don’t know that i could count on him to correctly fill out forms for me.
etc.
my family also has these concerns. they say i shouldn’t settle.
bless his dear heart… he’s perfect for me in every other way but that. i’ve not ever met another person with so many things in common. he tries so hard to be supportive and help me whenever he can. he really tries and i love him for it.
my family worries that i won’t be mentally stimulated or that i will start to "lose it" (meaning my intelligence will start to dim). he’s not a dumb person. my family just feels that i would be more suited with someone who was different and more intellectual.
i love him so much and i really think that if we got married it would be wonderful and everything could work out, but my family’s concerns have got me thinking…. is this something that is really important? is this something that will come with time?
i love him so very much and i sincerely know he has the purest heart and the purest intentions. is that enough to get by?
if you have any personal experience, please feel free to share.
thanks sooo much!!!
p.s. my mom doesn’t think he’s right for me at all. i went to a wedding tonight (just my mother and i) and someone asked if i had a boyfriend and she said "oh no she doesn’t no way". he knows this and it really hurts. he’s not doing anything deliberately wrong.
this hurts me too. i love him. he’s so awesome and caring and sweet and has a great relationship with God and has goals in life. he really loves me. a lot. these things really confuse me because everyone says i should listen to my family and friends if they dislike anyone i date because these are outsider’s opinions and they know what is best for me…
i’m so confused about what to do!
i need all the help i can get
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He sounds like a really great guy, and the way you describe him makes it sound as though you’re really really into him! So what if your brain doesn’t work in the same way? Trust me, if your brain did work in the same way you would have some serious problems, having a boyfriend that is exactly the same is you is bad. I mean you’re too shy to ask for help in the store, can you imagine what it would be like if your boyfriend was the same?
In theory, I’m cleverer than my boyfriend, but I haven’t become a dim bulb, and I would say that people can teach you things that aren’t necessarily intellectual, my boyfriend has definitely taught me some life lessons and practical stuff. It sounds like your boyfriend is teaching you to be more confident, and he also inspires you to want to be a better person! If that isn’t a good thing I don’t know what is!
I don’t want to offend you, but the fact your mom denied his existence is really rude! Not just to him, but to you too! I think you should talk to her about her behaviour, it’s your life and you really like him, so she should respect that, at least for your sake.
Sorry if this didn’t make too much sense!
Hope this helped… Good luck xxx
You have confused me beyond belief so I can imagine how your boyfriend feels. You need to be with someone who is on your level, and good luck with that because u seem out of the ordinary.
Hi Friend
This is purely my personal opinion. Please read it and make a decision of YOUR OWN.
Yes, your own decision is very much important here.
When we are grown up, we are all matured enough to take decisions. It will definitely have the support of God too. We don’t have to fully depend on others opinion for this, because this is the matter which is concerning our life.
From your note, i can understand that you are very happy with him. That is the biggest thing people are finding difficult to get. "Happiness". If you are comfortable enough, you can proceed your life with him. Even though there are guys with good heart and love, the count is less when you are measuring a mass. So consider this as your luck to have such a nice guy around you.
Be optimistic, think positive, bravely move forward…It is your life, the decision should be yours. If you are confident and possessing a positive approach towards life and hard working, definitely no one will be able to beat you. Be a smart and brave girl, put your head and shoulders straight, set up your target, walk with him hand in hand, sure you will find happiness…All the best wishes!!!!